Mommin’ ain’t easy and all the countless, daily decisions we have to make are the worst.
I’m not sure why we don’t talk about it more amongst our tribes, but there’s a well-known psychological phenomenon called “decision fatigue”. It’s exactly what it sounds like and it’s the root of my motherhood overwhelm lately.
I’m filled with daily gratitude to work for ourselves and really stay a close knit family. But owning a self-funded, small business has it’s highs and lows and for the first few years of being parents we were in a wonderful high. Everything seemed possible for our children and we were so honored to have them nurtured and loved at a local prestigious private preschool school. When we got hit hard on our business side we also found out I was pregnant with twins. But we rolled with it as best we could. We figured if we could ride it out we could cut the fat from our lives and sustain the minimum it took to keep up the amazing parts we truly loved. I made a million little business decisions to cover a million little family needs. I kept positive as much as possible and continued my daily gratitude practice during it all. I also carried most of the load of stress on these things myself. Not because my husband isn’t supportive or my true partner in this life, but more so because I chose based on who could potentially be sick over the stress of it all. And I simply couldn’t have him getting sick again on top of all of this.
I spent countless nights in meditation trying to sort out solutions and growth tactics for us to expand and take more chances to grow our business back up without sacrificing ourselves or our time from our family.
Neither one of us was raised in a lavish lifestyle. And my husband was incredibly poor. A huge part of our decision to go the private school route stemmed from when I was pregnant with Kieran. We put him on the waitlist for the school, because he was truly a miracle baby and we had no reason to believe that we would ever have more, (let alone FOUR). Giving one child any and everything you would want for them seemed completely feasible with our level of success at the time.
But eventually our capabilities for many things ran out, including my time and this past week we had to make MAJOR decisions on changes for our entire family to be happy as a whole. With the juggling of 4 babies all 4 and under, we just can’t swing things the way we used to! There is only so much time in the day and I can only work so much at night.
I started thinking about all the tiny, countless decisions we have to make throughout our day as mothers and how it zaps our mental and emotional energy. Think of all the decisions you have to make on a regular basis in relation to each one of your children. What to wear, what to eat, when they should go to bed, did they get enough actual nutrition today, did I mess up his self esteem when I didn’t listen to his questions this am, weighing pros and cons, risks and benefits, costs and rewards.
I think we can all find ourselves at the end of a long day saying, “I don’t know! 🤦🏻♀️ I can’t make one more decision today.”
This last weekend’s final decision was a big one, and it forced our hand for a bunch of little aftershock decisions that needed immediate attention. But for the everyday stuff, I found that the best way to navigate this decision overload and fatigue is to simplify and cut down on decisions that don’t really matter.
Creating a routine that the whole family can stick to also helps us prevent decision fatigue. The more we can make routine and systematized paths for chores, meals, after school, bedtime, etc., the fewer small decisions we have to make on a daily basis.
This mom shit ain’t easy. Raising children means making a million decisions about their care and training, our relationships with each of them, and our family as a whole. The more we limit decisions that don’t matter as much in the long run, the more energy we’ll have for the choices that really count.
So the next time your stumped on what to eat, consider what we do and sign up for a Marley Spoon Meal kit! It solves our, “what do you want for dinner?” decision dilemma and either one of us can start it, jump in for the other and/or finish it by following it’s super easy steps. And at the end of the day we enjoy a nutritious, homemade meal that makes both of us happy.