✨ I truly believe magic is everywhere and we choose our life. But that doesn’t mean I FEEL like that 24/7.
Somedays happiness feels like a fluffy unacheivable standard and I have a super hard time being fake. Like, I suck at it. So when I’m supposed to post all the best of my daily life and work on social media there are definitely days I just plain don’t feel like it.
But here’s my (non shiny social media) truth: real joy means embracing ALL your moods. Some days the lack of sleep, grumpiness and overall dark of the day wears on me. I try to stay positive and laugh at the small stuff but it feels super heavy. Those days I always remind myself of the 40% that I’m in control of.
Happiness is about acceptance of ourselves, and where we are at any given moment while looking to see how we can grow and learn. A big part of my growth over the years was focused on gratitude and the pursuit of happiness in spite of the lack of major things we believe should make us happy. In that effort to grow and learn I found tons of research studies around happiness. Here’s the part that really stuck with me:
50 percent of our well-being is determined by our genes, 10 percent by our circumstances in life, and a full 40 percent is determined by what we choose to do in our daily lives. For the last 10 years I’ve been taking that 40 percent very seriously. I also heard some some advice that you are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with. Think about that one for a moment. Mind blown right?! Those closest to you can be the ones holding you back the most sometimes.
Research is nice and quotes are cute, but how do we actually implement these truths into making a happier life? First off, Genes are not set in stone, (epigenetics and all) but 50 percent is a solid number no matter how you look at it and overcoming our programmed genes is no walk in the park. 10 percent is just life. We attract things to us but life also happens all around. Sometimes circumstances are what they are and they suck. But that “40”, oh that chunk is totally up to us. I spend that time practicing gratitude in my daily journal, giving to others, speaking affirmations out loud together on our morning drive, making meaningful connections with friends and strangers and taking time to enjoy the little things- soaking up the ever-changing flowers and landscape at Disneyland, exploring nature with my kiddos, learning little new things like fun DIYs with oils, all tip the scales toward happiness.
So the next time you feel unhappy, accept it. Embrace 60% of the situation and then focus on your 40 and what you can do to choose happiness moving forward. It’s a pursuit after all, and it’s absolutely the most meaningful one.