Big Family, Fast Times

The most common question we get:

“Isn’t it so hard with 4 kids and twin babies?”

Short answer:

“No.”

And YES. But not in the way you’d think…

Of course it’s chaos, but to be honest, our Irish twins were plenty crazy already. And yes, it’s a lot. Simple family park visits can take 30-40 minutes to prep. Our “on a whim” Disney escapes? At least an hour before anyone is in the car.

But the most surprising “hard” part? Tucking in the twins and wondering if I held them enough today. See, my husband and I are a pretty dynamic duo. And some days it gets so crazy, I’m not sure if I’ve held Brendan even once. And that makes me so incredibly sad that I repeatedly squeeze him and stare as he lays down to sleep. This is just where we are right now. We have a business. And 2 active, demanding toddlers. And 4 kids is a lot for two parents. We are out numbered. Every. Day. I begin to feel such immense guilt that the boys had more love, and attention as small babies because there was one of us for each one of them and nothing else to take our attention. I start to feel bad that we went for such a big family. I always wanted a larger family, but because we lost so many babies, once we were able to actually hold and love them in our arms we just didn’t want to stop.

But I have to stop and remind myself, that guilt doesn’t serve any of us. We should take these feelings to heart in the moment as such a gift. I’m grateful to have this moment of precious reflection every night as opposed to this happening years down the road. Guilt is such a strong emotion. It can make us stay in an unnecessary past experience. And if you’re hurting a lot, that can start to feel comfortable. But that’s not a place of love or creation. Forward motion is everything. And I will cherish these moments while I have them and remember that love always wins. So here’s your reminder and mine to hug and love on those babies whether you have 1 or 10! These everyday routines are so special and go by so quickly.

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